My dad was in hospital. But how did we get there?

2 weeks prior before admission into hospital, or as how the story was told, he ate 2 lotus seed rice (think of round rice fishball-sized dumplings) without chewing. That got stuck down his throat and wouldn’t dislodge. So for the next 7 days he couldn’t drink, eat or sleep well. Water wouldn’t go down fully, lost of appetite and coughing every 20 minutes disrupting the sleep. He had tried several ways to get rid of the problem, like jumping on rebounder or eating enzymes to digest away the food. Nothing seem to work. He was getting thinner by the 8th day. His walk was slow and sluggish. His voice became coarse. He hallucinates about workloads.

Meanwhile Maelodee and Joseph have had their year-long plans to return to visit Malaysia and hold their long overdue Chinese Wedding dinner. Among other plans like diving and local attractions & meeting up with friends. So after the first week back in Malaysia and the usual family dinner meet and greet, it was time to go for the diving trip.

Dad was getting immobile but insist he is recovering. Just laying there on the couch pointing fingers to everyone else to do something for him. 3 days before the dive, I already had begun doing his part of the business to process orders and pack them. The rest of the family were helping out as much as possible when they can, like tapao meals or nursing him back to health.

And so before they left for the diving trip, we hired a maid that handles palliative care patients, from hygiene to dressings and all the works, just so my mom wouldn’t be left alone assisting an adult.

Why Did You All Leave Me

This was Monday. The day of hospitalization. My brain doesn’t gel with reality. But the shit hit the fan so hard that day I broke down and cried.

In reality :

  • My siblings went for a 4-day diving trip.
  • Added work was added stressful.
  • My home maid (different from the one hired for my dad) was away for annual leave.
  • The home was in a mess and much upkeep needed.
  • Daughter vomited 3 times the day before from a concussion at a children’s play gym. CT scan was needed.
  • And of course, my immobile dad which looks close to death.

But what went through my brain :

  • My siblings left me.
  • I’ve to suddenly take over the business.
  • Maid left me.
  • Home is a mess.
  • Daughter may leave me.
  • Losing my dad.

WHY DID YOU ALL LEAVE ME? GOD, WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME?

The brain didn’t gel with reality, but that’s what came out. It was such a chaotic emotional time that I broke down during phone calls.

God’s Timing

While my dad is still on the road to recovery, on hindsight God’s timing for everything that happened.

Dad choking on the lotus rice at the time that he did.

Mae-Joe’s year long trip that coincides them being in Malaysia.

The diving trip that prompted the hiring of the maid.

The need for newspaper that got my uncle to come pay a visit.

The breakdown that caused friends to come visit.

The call for ambulance because I dare not make it.

Cell members suggested a doctor friend at Tung Shin, but he was busy with another surgery.

Dr Toh was just a twice-a-week visiting doctor that suggested to move to Selayang instead.

Support from friends and family and business partners thereafter.

Sacrifices

With all the turmoil, there will be sacrifices.

Maelodee had to cancel some pre-planned appointments while she had to run errands.

Dad was suppose to host the Armstrongs but was hospitalized. Thanks to Simon and Sophia for hosting!

Mom sacrificed her fully paid plane tickets and bookings to all the attractions, to miss the UK wedding, just to stay back and take care of dad.

Newlife to arrange a deal for my dad to work from hospital. Thankfully I had a website setup fully to help him just click click done.

3 Weeks later…. and moving on.

My mind is more cleared now after the holiday. Had a lot of time to reflect and be away from it all.

Just the mere fact that being 10,536km away (yea I googled it XD), of a different time zone and being unavailable to lend a helping hand, eventually people just leave you alone for the duration of the holiday. Away from news. Away from politics. Away from bills. hahaha. But I do miss my family and kids though. Thank God for Mel taking care of them fantastically.

Dad checked himself out of the hospital. It was a race for him to see who can “get home first”. I’m like, I’m on holiday, why wanna come home earlier lolz.

He hasn’t fully recover as when anyone who has seen him physically will say he isn’t well yet.

But a life is more important than squabbles. God has His reasons things happened as they are and I still have my family alive. So just being thankful for this storm that when it hits, it hits hard, is tiding over.

Disclaimer : “Here goes nothing” is a phrase I imagined my dad said (but of coz he didn’t) to begin the chain of events that led up to the hospitalization. On hindsight the timing of key events is just not something one can make up.